It’s not uncommon to hear that a loved one is stealing money to support their drug or alcohol addiction. When someone is deep into their addiction, they do whatever it takes to get more. But, in several cases, the addict will deny they ever stole money from you. So how do you confront a friend or loved one stealing money from you? What do you do if they deny it? What do you do if the problem persists?
Stealing: take without permission or legal right and without intending to return it.
Your loved one becomes a stranger over time. They start taking drugs or drinking to relieve stress, and it ends up spiraling out of control. They become dependant on it, and their addiction begins taking over their life. Doing whatever it takes to get more, whether it be stealing, selling, burglary, forgery, etc. They’re willing to get in trouble with the law if that means getting another fix.
Whether it’s a family member or a friend, addiction affects more than just the user. It’s a family disease. And getting them help is much easier said than done.
You could be in your room and realize the money you left on your dresser disappeared. Or you could be doing laundry and realize the money from your jean pockets isn’t there anymore. The bottom line is, you had money and now you don’t. Does it make sense to automatically accuse the addict? Maybe you blame yourself for losing your money?
In any case, you should probably figure out where your money is going. Some people like purposely placing money somewhere and watching the suspect walk past, and others blatantly ask the suspect. But, in all honesty, how easy will it be for the suspect to actually admit to it? They can easily just say “I didn’t take it.”
“I was going to pay you back.”
“I let you borrow from me all the time.”
“It was just once!”
“I didn’t even take your money.”
“You said I could have it.”
It can make for a very uncomfortable situation. But truth be told, you’ll need to confront it at some point in time. You can’t just let it happen or believe their excuses.
- Be nonjudgmental
- Express love
- Be confident
- Discuss it when they’re in a good mood
- Be kind
If you talk with a comfortable voice, you’ll likely get it back. Instantly accusing them or raising your voice will only distance them more.
Addiction is dangerous and they will do whatever it takes to either get more dope or get more money for dope. It’s important for you to know where your money is. Don’t keep it outside your wallet. Don’t leave it on the counter or in your back pocket. By leaving your money and wallet in a safe place, it will keep them from taking any. If money isn’t the issue, and they are stealing household objects to sell, it’s best to kick them out or lock your doors. You can’t allow them to walk all over you, and by enabling this behavior, you’re making it easy for them to remain an addict.
Whether you’ve mentioned this a lot or not enough, it’s important you don’t give up on them. Remind them you care & love them and you want them to get help. Their addiction is killing them and it’s so hard for them to admit it. Stage an intervention, go to support meetings, talk to a therapist and find support. You’re not alone.