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Setting Boundaries in Sobriety

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Setting Boundaries in Sobriety

Setting boundaries are important in everyone’s life. Sometimes, however, it’s hard to set boundaries when you’ve never had them. People who grew up in dysfunctional households might not have boundaries because they lived in a strict and uncomfortable environment. You might not have boundaries because you were glued to your drug of choice and it was a blurry time. There can be many reasons why boundaries weren’t set.

But it’s a different situation now.  You’re in addiction recovery and sober, and that means you’re fully capable of controlling your life and your body. Therefore, it’s time to begin setting some real boundaries that weren’t there before.

The first step is to realize that you actually need boundaries. You can’t keep going the way you have been in the past. As you know, it will only lead to destruction and relapse. Once you accept that you need boundaries, you can move on to setting them.

One way to set boundaries is through the help of a sober living program. To learn more, call us today at 833.433.0448.

setting boundaries

Healthy and Unhealthy Boundaries

One of the most important aspects of addiction recovery is learning how to set healthy boundaries. This means knowing your limits and not allowing others to cross them. It can be difficult to do this when you’re first starting out in recovery, but over time it becomes easier.

There are many different ways to set boundaries, but it depends on your specific situation. You might need to set boundaries with your family, friends, or coworkers. You might also need to set boundaries with yourself.

Healthy Boundaries

  • Honoring your own decisions, beliefs, and thoughts
  • Taking responsibility for everything you do and say
  • Realizing that you are in charge of you, you define yourself
  • Respectfully sharing your thoughts and ideas to others

Unhealthy Boundaries

  • Telling someone what to do or think
  • Sacrificing or lying to others about your beliefs to please others
  • Pressuring people to believe what you believe
  • Taking responsibility for someone else’s feelings or actions

Setting Boundaries

Consider your worth

We might have many regrets and disappointments from our past, but it’s important to move forward from it. Discover our worth, understand ourselves more, and regain self-esteem. Once we have confidence and self-esteem, it will be easier setting boundaries. What we did is not who we are. We are not bad people because of our addiction.

Self-awareness is important

When we’re in recovery, we might attend AA meetings, see some speakers, meditate, or pray. Whatever we do to make us happy and rejoined, we need to continue doing. Don’t hold back or try pleasing others when it means missing out on something important to you. Recovery should always be our priority, and if we take an hour out of the day to pray, or do yoga, keep that streak going. It’s okay to say “no.” to others if it’s disrupting our peace in recovery.

Stay true to your emotions 

It’s easy to become flustered or lash out when something doesn’t go right. In order to set proper boundaries for ourselves, we should allow others to have proper boundaries as well. Instead of getting angry or lashing out at someone, we should be civil and respectful to them. If something is eating us up and we need to talk about it, counselors or close friends/family are good people to talk to.

Limit yourself accordingly

Setting limits is important because we want others to respect our recovery. If we get invited Saturday night to a bar, then we should kindly decline if we’re not ready. If a friend asks us for a movie night Tuesday but we arranged a call to our sponsor, we should kindly decline. Everyone should have limits, and we should speak up if it’s something we can’t do or attend to.

Your boundaries are important

Boundaries should be taken seriously. Just like how we’d respect someone else’s boundaries, they need to respect ours. If we keep getting bombarded with questions or invitations that are interfering with our current schedule, then we need to speak up. And if that person doesn’t understand and keeps pressuring it on us, we should distance ourselves from them. We are important and our recovery is important.

setting boundaries

Get Help With Setting Boundaries in Sobriety

Boundaries help you stay focused on your recovery and protect you from relapse. They also help you build healthy relationships with other people in recovery. If you’re not sure how to set boundaries, or if you need help enforcing them, New Start Recovery can help.

If you or someone you know is going through addiction, you’re not alone. Please call us at 833.433.0448 for a personal assessment. Remember that your insurance may cover your treatment.

Posted in Health and Wellness, Recovery